Video: My Favourite Somatic Practice for Releasing Stuck Anger

I used this practice just yesterday.

I was marching down the hallway to give someone a piece of my mind.

It wasn't a good time, and I would have lashed out.

But luckily, my towel closet is between the kitchen and the den.

I stopped, grabbed a towel, and wrung it for about 30 seconds.

The urgency dropped. I could breathe. And then I could actually have the conversation I needed to have - from a grounded place instead of a reactive one.

This isn't a catharsis, and there's no yelling required. We're just helping your body complete the physical response.

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Why Anger Gets Stuck

We can tend to make anger a bad thing , but it's a natural response in our body.

When we don't know how to work with it, anger can feel like a pressure cooker - building and building with nowhere to go.

Most people I work with don't want to be seen as angry people - they want to be known for their inner sensitivity, their kindness and their integrity.

But reactivity gets in the way, and they act out without meaning to.

Sound familiar?

Maybe you've tried breathing exercises, telling yourself to calm down, or walking away. But the tension stays. The heaviness lingers. It's exhausting to constantly control yourself.

That level of inner pressure can keep you up at night.

Today I want to share a simple somatic practice that actually works - because it completes what your body's trying to do, instead of stopping it or lashing out.

In somatic work, anger alerts us that a boundary has been crossed or there's something important to protect.

But here's the thing: the anger you're feeling today might not just be about today.

When we access anger, it's like all the anger comes back - every time you were disrespected, every injustice you witnessed, every boundary that was crossed.

That's why it feels so charged.

And if you weren't allowed to express anger in the past, or if being angry got you in trouble, your body learned to hold it instead of move it.

Where Anger Lives in Your Body

Check in right now: where do you think you feel anger?

Common places include:

• Jaw - tension, clenching

• Chest - tightness, pressure

• Shoulders - holding, bracing

• Fists - hands tingling, wanting something to do

• Heat - anywhere in your body
  

You might also feel nothing or numbness in these areas - or maybe you don't have access to the anger yet. That's okay.

The Practice: Towel Wringing

This is so simple, but it works.

What you need:

• A towel (tea towel, hand towel, bath towel - doesn't matter)

• Or a blanket, sweater, anything you can wring

How to do it:

1. Grab the towel with both hands

2. Wring it - squeeze and twist like you're wringing out water

   • Notice: you're activating your hands, arms, chest

   • The same muscles anger wants to use

3. Keep going

   • You might squeeze harder

   • You might make sounds (a growl, a grunt)

   • Let your body do what it wants

4. Wait for the release

   • Usually 20-60 seconds

   • You'll feel a big breath come through

   • The urgency drops

   • The pressure releases

5. Pause and notice

   • What's different?

   • Less pressurized?

   • More space?

   • Something softer underneath?

What's Underneath Anger

Anger has a protective function - it's protecting something tender. People often call it a 'secondary emotion,' because underneath it there's a layer of something else:

• Hurt

• Vulnerability

• Fear

• Something that matters deeply to you

Integrating the Practice (Important)

Typically when I do this practice myself or with clients, there's a sense of relief that comes afterwards. Check in with your body and notice whether there's still an intensity, urgency, and tension.

Even 1% more space inside is a win.

Sometimes, you might notice there's an emotion underneath that also wants some attention.

Give yourself some grace if there's also tears or hurt underneath.

Why This Works (And "Calm Down" Doesn't)

When you tell yourself to "calm down," you're asking your body to stop a survival response.

But survival responses don't want to be stopped - they want to be completed.

Anger is a fight response. It brings energy up into your:

• Upper body

• Voice

• Jaw

• Hands

It wants to move, protect, create space.

When you wring the towel, you're completing the movement your body wanted to do. You're showing your nervous system: "We did the thing. We protected. It's done."

That's how you actually get to calm - not by forcing it, but by completing the response.

When to Use This

This practice works when:

• Anger feels stuck in your body

• You can't express it directly (work, family situations)

• You feel like a pressure cooker about to explode

• You need to release without hurting anyone

Important: Sometimes anger is telling you something needs to change - a boundary needs to be set, a conversation needs to happen. There's an injustice that needs to be addressed.

This practice is for processing the stuck energy, not avoiding necessary action.

Try It

Next time you feel anger rising - that pressure, that heat, that tension - grab something you can wring.

Squeeze it. Twist it. Let your body do what it wants to do.

Then pause. Notice. Breathe.

See what's underneath.

Watch the full practice on youtube here.