Why Embodiment Can Feel so Awkward (and why neuroscience says that's actually a good sign)

Learning to be in your body can feel uncomfortable—sometimes even unbearable. But that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

It means one of three things...

1. You have experienced trauma, chronic pain and/or marginalization, meaning your body hasn't felt like a safe place thus far.
   

2. Like most people, you weren't taught how to connect with your body or listen to it's messages.
   

3. You're learning something new, which requires some level of struggle.
   
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Most of us weren't taught how to feel our feelings.

Most people who seek me out to do somatic therapy are highly self-aware and intelligent. They know the intricacies of their psyche & patterns, but they haven't been shown the doorway of sensation and the importance of body-intelligence.

So they end up on the hamster wheel of overthinking and trying to figure themselves out.

If you’ve ever tried to “feel your feelings” and immediately wanted to run for the hills—you’re not alone. I can’t tell you how many highly intelligent and self-aware clients I work with who respond to that invitation with a flat-out, “Absolutely not.”

And it makes sense. Most of us weren’t taught how to feel. We were taught how to perform, analyze, over-function, and power through. We learned to prioritize thinking over sensing, logic over intuition, control over curiosity.

So since we've all been socialized to some extent in this (distorted) patriarchal time, you have likely internalized the belief that sensitivity equals weakness—that emotion is chaotic, or something to be contained. No matter your gender, our cultures have a way of dictating how we 'should be.'

Interoception is a skill we learn and practice.

Interoception is how we feel what is happening inside of our body. For example, we feel a grumble in our stomach when we are hungry. But interoception is also the innate skill we use to deepen our energetic attunement with our own inner experience. You could say interoception is how we 'read' our energy and work with sensation and emotion as it arises.

It's not something we're taught is important.

So when you start this practice of interoception—of actually feeling your internal experience in real time—your system might revolt.

It might say: “No thanks. Let’s just think this through and figure it out. It doesn't matter how I feel, or what sensations are arising...what's the point in that?”

And at first, it can feel awkward. You're not sure the point of feeling into the tightness in your chest. You're not quite convinced the heaviness matters. Finding any kind of positive sensation is totally foreign to you.

We sit in awkward silence and the minutes tick by....

That discomfort? It's not failure. It’s neuroplasticity. It's your system telling you there's growth available here.

And you don't have to get it right... Embodiment is not a switch that you flip, it's a conversation you start with your body. It's a pathway you build brick-by-brick as you're walking down it.

From a nervous system perspective, neuroplasticity requires discomfort.

Any time we are learning something new or renegotiating our patterning, there’s a biological learning curve.

It’s not just a mindset shift; it’s a physical, chemical process. Rewiring new pathways involves effort, and that effort often feels like agitation or awkwardness at first.

According to neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, this agitation is not optional. You're actually building new neural pathways - think of the effort and focus required for that.

Remember the pathway you're building? You just want to run down this pathway, damn it. You didn't want to build it. You didn't bring enough bricks, it's hot out, you're thirsty.... you get the point.

When you're trying to learn something new, the brain releases neuromodulators like adrenaline, norepinephrine, epinephrine, and acetylcholine that heighten alertness and signal to the neurons that change is needed.

These neurochemicals often feel in your system like struggle, irritation, or even mental friction—but the are the necessary precondition for neuroplasticity.

The signposts of internal change.

Interestingly, the actual rewiring of the brain doesn't happen during the effort itself.

It happens later, during sleep or deep rest, when the brain consolidates what was practiced while awake. So the agitation is the spark for change, and rest is the integration and building of new pathways. (That's why I'm always telling you to have a nap or practice my deep-rest Somatic Dreaming guided meditations).

So somatic work isn’t about forcing yourself to feel. It’s about slowly building a new relationship with your inner world—one breath, one cue, one sensation at a time. Building interoception, building new neural pathways of feeling and new patterns that feel true to you.

It can be uncomfortable, that's okay. It's part of the process. And you don’t have to love it right away.

The best approach is to stay curious. And know that when the discomfort comes, you can clock that for what it is: a signpost that you are on the edge of something new.

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Check out my new somatic dreaming practice here!